What If I Don’t Want to Travel?

Why the “travel more while you can” retirement advice isn’t for everyone

Vidar Nordli-Mathisen Unsplash

Every life stage has its own set of questions people are likely to ask.

If you’re single and in your 30s, it’s “How’s the dating scene going — find anyone yet?”

If you’re married, “When are you going to start having kids?”

When you retire, “Aren’t you going to start traveling now that you have the time?”

Maybe I’m just getting cranky, but I file all these under Nobody’s Business.

Sure, they’re conversation starters, but they also make the person under interrogation feel like they have to explain themselves on a topic that may be uncomfortable for them.

I’ve been through the first two, and now the third has become the one I’d rather not answer.

Because I find myself defending the fact that no, I don’t have a desire to sail around the world, climb every mountain, or otherwise be somewhere without the comforts of home. Call me crazy.

“Oh, but you may not be able to do it in another 10 years!”

First, thank you for already planning my infirm years. And second, I’ll cross that rickety bridge when I get to it.

I don’t understand the judgment (and sometimes subtle shaming) behind the question. As a well-traveled friend once asked me, “You mean you don’t even have a passport?” Why would I need one if I had no plans to travel? (For the record, I do now have a passport. But it’s for the ability to flee the country should the need arise, not to visit the Louvre.)

My personal reasons (I’m writing these here so I can send this story link to the next person who asks me):

1. I would love to see other countries — it’s the process I can do without. I’d do so immediately if it didn’t require airports and the hassle of getting there. I’ll be first in line when molecular transporters become a thing.

2. I have two cats — one who’s on the last of her nine lives and on several meds — and will not leave them with a pet sitter.

3. I also have a health issue that requires me to be within the immediate vicinity of a bathroom. It creates anxiety that becomes worse when I worry about it.

Not to mention that my only remaining immediate family is a brother on the East Coast who’s too busy to break away for a visit. So travel isn’t currently in the cards for me at the moment, and I’m fine with it. I’ve traveled considerably domestically — and have lived on both coasts — just not internationally.

“When you see how other people live, it’ll make you appreciate what you have,” is another argument. I don’t need to go on an African safari or go without running water for a week to know I’m fortunate beyond many people’s wildest dreams. I am already beyond thankful.

Not everyone’s leaving on a jet plane

And, contrary to what you hear, travel after retirement is not as popular as you may think. About 70% of people over 50 plan to travel in a given year, according to AARP, with many taking an average of nearly four trips annually.

While that sounds like a lot of globetrotting, other data suggests the opposite.

One study shows that travel declines with age, and older adults tend to take fewer and shorter trips. What gives?

A closer look reveals the truth.

While AARP reports people over 50 taking multiple trips per year, this includes those aged 50–65, who are still active and healthy and average four trips a year. This number drops to about two trips a year for those aged 65–75 and 0–1 trips annually for people 75+.

In addition, AARP Travel Trends data is explicitly based on survey responses. Questions include those regarding travel intentions, planned trips, and recent activity. People often plan more than they actually do. Plus, questions included short domestic trips, weekend getaways, and visiting family. People who respond are also more likely to have the health, financial means, and interest in travel.

Meanwhile, those who opt out, can’t travel, or simply prefer to stay home fade out of the traveler data.

Academic studies, on the other hand, tend to track behavior over time, which explains why this decline shows up more clearly.

So while travel is common among some older adults, it’s less common as people age. “Everyone travels after retirement” is about as factual as the Instagram photos of people looking into the window of their washing machine framed to look like an airplane window with the caption “On my way to the Maldives!”

Truth is, traveling naturally declines for many people.

Shifting goals

As I talk about in my story about finding purpose after retirement, socioemotional selectivity theory (SST) posits that as time horizons shorten with age, people shift from knowledge-acquisition goals (meeting new people, exploring novel environments) to goals with more emotional meaning (relationships and family). Studies prove it.

In Fredrickson & Carstensen’s classic work, when given free time, older adults consistently preferred spending that time with family over meeting a new acquaintance. Older adults also selectively attend to and remember positive information more than negative, and prefer to savor the present over chasing future payoffs.

It’s why a travel industry pitch of “you’ll create memories forever!” doesn’t register anymore, according to SST.

Plus, as an introvert, constant stimulation without solitude depletes me. The “travel to grow and connect” advice assumes an extrovert’s outlook.

Health precautions

We also can’t ignore health issues as a reason travel is not universally desirable.

A client I had years ago was 65 at the time and a bladder cancer survivor. He and his wife traveled to the Galapagos Islands for vacation. He developed a complication related to his prior cancer, and with no available hospital, he had to be airlifted off the island for emergency surgery. That was their last trip.

I consider myself healthy, barring the issue I touched on above, which is under control with medication and by monitoring my stress levels.

But one major issue for those over 60 exists when traveling more than four hours in any mode: deep vein thrombosis (DVT). Most travel-related clots can occur within one to two weeks after a flight, with risk returning to baseline only at eight weeks. The Mayo Clinic lists being over 60 as an independent risk factor.

Jet lag also hits harder as we age. MIT research reports that jet lag symptoms, such as memory and concentration issues, reduced sleep quality, and daytime exhaustion, are all felt more strongly after 50.

Lastly, research also shows that familiarity acts as a psychological buffer against age-related cognitive decline. In familiar settings, older adults perform way-finding tasks nearly as well as younger adults. Unfamiliar environments widen the gap. So the pull towards staying home isn’t regression, just the brain doing what it should.

I’m not saying I’ll never travel. But as much as I’d love to see some other parts of the world, I prefer being a homebody for now. So the next time someone asks me when I’m going to start traveling, I’ll answer their question with a question: “Why do you assume I should be?”

Besides, the Maldives aren’t going anywhere.